Content note: This story includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse and healing.
When we talk about women’s empowerment, we often focus on external solutions – equal pay, representation in leadership, skills training, and the importance of speaking up at work. These are crucial steps toward equality, but for many women, especially those who carry invisible wounds, there is something even more fundamental that must come first: healing. How can we speak up, rise, and lead if deep inside we feel unworthy of taking up space? That was my reality for most of my life. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, an experience that shaped how I saw myself for many years. According to Statistics Canada*, 1 in 10 Canadians report experiencing sexual abuse by an adult before the age of 15. The effects can last a lifetime – shame, self-blame, low self-worth, and a constant undercurrent of fear. These are not just emotional burdens; they are barriers that prevent us from thriving. For decades, I lived with a belief system shaped by trauma. My inner voice whispered, “I can’t.” I felt inferior to others. I saw myself as small, incapable, and broken. On the outside, I appeared to be functioning. Inside, I was struggling – disconnected from others, from opportunities, and most painfully, from myself. Yet beneath the heaviness, I still dreamed of more. I wanted to thrive. I wanted to feel whole. I just didn’t know where to start. Everything changed at the age of 46, when I decided to reach out to a therapist. That single step began to shift my world. Over time, therapy gave me the tools to understand my past and begin releasing decades of shame and fear. It was the first time I allowed myself to believe that healing was possible. That belief deepened when I discovered Dress for Success Vancouver. I joined their Working Women’s Group during one of the most difficult periods of my life, navigating the end of a 23-year marriage while facing unemployment. I had already started therapy, but through Dress for Success Vancouver, I gained something just as vital: a community of women who understood what it meant to rebuild. Their programs didn’t just provide workshops and resources, they offered a sense of belonging. Through the Working Women’s Group, I was introduced to speakers who guided us to reflect on values, confidence, and personal growth. Those sessions gave me clarity about who I was and what I wanted for my future. Through Dress for Success Vancouver’s programs, I also accessed counselling with TELUS Health, which became a lifeline as I navigated both trauma recovery and the upheaval of job loss. That support helped me stay grounded while envisioning new possibilities. Just as importantly, I found solidarity and sisterhood. For someone who had spent most of her life shrinking and silencing herself, being seen, heard, and encouraged by other women was transformative. It gave me the courage to start showing up more fully in my own life. Volunteering with Dress for Success Vancouver further expanded that transformation. Attending conferences as an Ambassador helped me grow my confidence, and taught me the power of giving back. Sharing the mission of Dress for Success Vancouver empowers me because I know firsthand how life-changing their programs can be. Today, I no longer walk through the world in hiding. I show up. I speak up. I feel joy. In the fall, I began my Master’s in Counselling Psychology with the goal of becoming a psychotherapist, so I can help other women release the weight of trauma and reclaim their lives. The power of possibility is not just a phrase – it is my lived experience. I am standing here today because therapy opened the door, because Dress for Success Vancouver walked beside me, and because, with their help, I began to believe in myself. We don’t always get to choose what happens to us. But we can choose what we do next. Sometimes, the smallest act, like reaching out for help or joining a community, can open the door to everything. I know it did for me. That is the power of possibility. *2018 Survey of Safety in Public and Private SpacesDonate today to empower possibility for more women like Nirosha Photography by Dani Cruz Photography